Meryl
Ain wrote her first poem in the third grade and has been writing ever since.
She is a blogger for Huffington Post
and often writes about families, parenting, children, and education. After she
lost both her father and mother within a year-and-a-half, she decided to
research how others keep alive the memories of their loved ones. She enlisted
her husband, Stewart, and her brother, Arthur Fischman, to join her in
researching and writing The Living
Memories Project, http://thelivingmemoriesproject.com/. Meryl earned a BA from Queens College, a MA from Columbia University Teachers College, and an Ed.D. from Hofstra University. She began her career in
education as a social studies teacher before she became an administrator. She
and her husband Stewart live on Long Island and have three sons, three
daughters-in-law and three grandchildren.
Their latest book she
co-authored with Steward Ain and Arthur M. Fischman is the nonfiction, The
Living Memories Project: Legacies That Last.
Visit their website at www.thelivingmemoriesproject.com.
About the Book:
Three years after
the death of her mother, Meryl Ain was still unable to fill the hole that the
loss had left in her life. In talking to friends, Meryl
discovered an insight shared by
Meryl enlisted the
help of her brother, Arthur Fischman, and her husband, Stewart Ain, and began a
quest to interview people who had moved beyond mourning through meaningful
action. The Living Memories Project:
Legacies That Last by Meryl Ain, Ed.D., Arthur M. Fischman, & Stewart
Ain (March 2014, Little Miami Publishing Company, Trade Paperback, 196 pages,
$18.95, ISBN:978-0-9882553-7-1) is a result of that research.
The Living Memories Project presents more than 30 interviews with both
celebrities and others who share their experiences and the projects they
undertook to memorialize their loved ones. The authors have sought to
demonstrate that any tribute, big or small, can be a meaningful way to preserve
memories of loved ones. Establishing a
foundation or scholarship, using a
recipe on a particular holiday or family occasion, creating artwork, embarking on a project
or even an entire career – all could be traced to a specific talent, interest
or value of the deceased. Each chapter offers a rich first-person
history that will engage and inspire readers of all faiths.
Among them are:
·
Linda
Ruth Tosetti, who made a documentary film about her grandfather, Babe Ruth, to
highlight his humanitarian side – a value she cherished and believed was often
overlooked in Babe’s biography. Ruth was a German-American, who publicly
denounced the Nazi persecution of the Jews in 1942.
·
Liz
and Steve Alderman, who established the Peter C. Alderman Foundation to honor
the memory of their 25-year-old son, who was killed on 9/11 at the World Trade Center. The foundation trains doctors and
establishes mental health clinics on four continents to treat PTSD.
·
Eileen
Belmont, a quilt designer who helps others preserve their memories of
deceased loved ones through the creation of memory quilts.
·
Singer/songwriter
Jen Chapin (daughter of the late folk rock icon Harry Chapin), who carries on
her father’s legacy of music and feeding the hungry.
·
Dr.
Yeou-Cheng Ma (sister of Yo-Yo Ma), who keeps the memory of her father and
music teacher /mentor alive through
the Children's Orchestra Society and her
poetry.
·
Robert
Meeropol (son of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, who were executed as spies by the
US Government in 1953), who established the Rosenberg Fund for Children to help
children whose parents are imprisoned.
·
Author,
actor and raconteur Malachy McCourt, who presents his unique take on how he
keeps alive the memory of his brother Frank (Angela's Ashes) through the Irish tradition of song and story.
Can you tell us
what your book, The Living Memories Project, is about?
The Living Memories Project
is about harnessing the power of grief into meaningful action and living
legacies. It describes through interviews, anecdotes, essays, poems and photographs,
the many ways that 32 individuals – celebrities and others -- incorporate the presence
of their loved ones in their lives. Some who have shared their stories describe
encounters or occurrences in which they strongly felt the loved one’s presence,
while others have drawn upon rituals or recipes or created a tangible memorial.
For example, Nick Clooney tells how he keeps his sisters’ (singers Rosemary and
Betty) memory alive through a museum,
foundation and special events. In addition, he talks
about how he carries on his
grandfather’s values of social responsibility through his work on behalf of Darfur with his son, actor George Clooney.
Another example is of Liz
and Steve Alderman, who established the Peter C. Alderman Foundation to honor
the memory of their 25-year-old son, who was killed on 9/11 at the World Trade Center. The foundation trains doctors and establishes
mental health clinics on four continents to treat victims of PTSD.
Additionally, singer/songwriter Jen Chapin (daughter of the late folk rock icon
Harry Chapin) talks about how she carries on her father’s legacy of music and
feeding the hungry. And author, actor and raconteur Malachy McCourt presents
his unique take on how he keeps alive the memory of his brother Frank (Angela's Ashes) through the Irish
tradition of song and story.
Why did you write
your book?
My mother was
my best friend and confidante. When she died after a brief illness, I was
bereft and wondered how I could go on living without the everyday presence of
my mom in my life. I looked for an optimistic book about going beyond mourning
but couldn’t find one. I discussed this subject with friends and acquaintances
who had also had losses, and found that there were a myriad of proactive ways
others had embraced to keep the memories of their loved ones alive after they
were gone. My mother was a big proponent of always having a project, so I
decided to make this my project – discovering how to go beyond that wrenching,
painful heartache to a happy and productive life. I convinced my brother
(Arthur Fischman) and my husband (Stewart Ain) to join me in exploring this
phenomenon in a book project. Thus, The
Living Memories Project was conceived.
What kind of
message is your book trying to tell your readers?
The message is
that even though our loved ones have passed, we can keep them alive by honoring
their memory. We do not believe that there is such a thing as closure. In fact, Dr. Dan Gottlieb, a family therapist
who hosts a radio show on NPR, dismissed the notion of closure when we
interviewed him for the book. He says it is a “misinterpretation of Elisabeth
Kubler-Ross,” the famed psychiatrist who wrote the classic book, Death and
Dying, in which she identified the five stages of grief. Gottlieb said: “It’s
not what she meant. You have issues in your life. You have memories. You have
longings and aches. Nothing goes away.”
We believe that since our loved ones will always be with us, why not
incorporate that person’s values, spirit and personality in a positive way?
Is it hard to
publish a nonfiction book?
It is extremely difficult
if you are not a celebrity or have not been previously published. We were told
that our book was a great idea, that it
was well-written, and inspirational, but we just weren’t famous enough to get a
book deal. We tried for two years with
two different agents who strongly believed in the book -- with no success. Finally, through our own connections, we
found an independent publisher, Little Miami, in Milford, Ohio, who got the idea of the book immediately. Call it
fate or coincidence, the publisher read our proposal while she was sitting at
her mother’s deathbed. – and decided to publish immediately!
Can you tell us about your family?
My
husband, Stewart, and I have three sons, three daughters-in-law, and three
grandchildren – two granddaughters and a grandson. My brother, Arthur, who is a
coauthor of The Living Memories Project, has quipped that in our family,
“Writing is a competitive sport.” In addition to the three of us, our
daughter-in-law, Beth Ain is a children’s book author of the Scholastic series,
Starring Jules. Our son, Michael “Morty”
Ain is a writer for ESPN The Magazine.
Our daughter-in-law, Alana Joblin Ain, is a poet. Our son, Rabbi Dan Ain,
writes on spiritual matters, particularly the intersection of technology and
religion. Our son, Jonathan Ain and our
daughter-in-law Halie Geller, are lawyers.
What do you like the most about being an author?
I
love the feedback I get from people. Many have shared their own stories of how
they remember their loved ones, and we encourage them to post these on our
website: http://thelivingmemoriesproject.com/your-story/
Both the stories in our book and the new stories people are sharing with us,
are so inspirational. We hope to write a sequel based on the new stories.
What’s most meaningful about being an author is that The Living Memories Project has been healing and cathartic for me;
and it has enabled me to honor my mom’s memory in a way that is very
appropriate, During World War II she was a WAC and was a writer on the staff of
The Belvoir Castle, the newspaper of
Fort Belvoir in Virginia. She also wrote two manuscripts that were never
published, and I know she would be so thrilled that our book – dedicated to her
-- `is now a reality. Most of all, I hope that it will help others by showing
readers how to find comfort and meaning through honoring the memory, values,
and legacy of their loved ones.
What kind of advice would you give other non-fiction
authors?
Choose a topic that you
are passionate about. Don’t listen to the naysayers. Keep on researching,
writing, and revising, until you are sure it reflects your voice and your
mission, and you are proud of what you have written. Don’t be discouraged if
you keep on getting rejections. All you need is one acceptance!
Website: thelivingmemoriesproject.com
Facebook: Facebook.com/LivingMemoriesProject
Twitter: @LivMemoriesProj